Dating Player Shield

I received this request for advice from a fan and it was a problem I think that a lot of young guys and even intermediate players have. “I’m in college - run into a girl who had been showing significant interest since we met and we talk about how we were both exhausted from partying the night before. She suggested we ‘be nap buddies.’ I responded without thinking, ‘you should stop trying to seduce me’ with a laugh.. intention being to tease her. She immediately appeared unsettled and offended and said “ok I will.” My careless mistake put an end to the flirting and led me to reflect on my game. Was hoping you could offer me some advice as to how to draw the line when it comes to being alpha/cocky/confident.” Now how many times have all of us been in this position? I think when all of us learn game we are taught that girls will always shit test us and make us qualify ourselves. So we train ourselves to have our player shield up at all times ready for a smart or pithy comeback to anything a girl we like may say. Something that will keep the conversation going and peak the girls interest in us. We often forget some simple fact about women and especially in this case girls, at their most inner core most of them are vulnerable. Us guys are used to sexual rejection, we can go up to countless women in a night and try to talk them into sleeping with us and our fear of rejection is lower because we won’t take a rejection as a personal attack on our being, we’ll shrug it off and move on to the next girl who will sleep with us. But if a woman (as the gate keepers of sex) puts her self out there even slightest as the one who wants to initiate the sex. The tinniest hint of rejection to her come on or advance especially when it’s so obvious a sexual come on will deliver a blow to her ego so strong it could take months for her to get over it. I.E I’m so ugly I couldn’t even talk a guy into taking a nap in the same bed for him to make a move and take advantage of me. Honestly women are horrible at picking up men. It’s the nature of things. What they’re really good at is giving off the right amount of sexual vibe that will let a man know that she’s interested in sex IF he plays his cards right. This is the game skill for women, if they come off too eager or willing for sex that night the guy will think she’s a slut but if she comes off too prude or not interested in sex he may move on to another girl he feels he has a chance with. This all comes with age so it’s no surprise the college girl in this example suggest being “nap buddies” where there was a bed involved and expectation of him to make the move once there. Lastly is the way I think most young guys and men new to game should think of it. Think of it more of a weapon that’s readily available. Just because you’ve got it doesn’t mean you have to even use it. Just like the old Japanese proverb of how you can tell the best samurai is the one with the rustiest sword. If you’re naturally slightly more attractive than the average guy or more alpha and confident there will be plenty of times where girls actually come up to you and strike a conversation, suggest you go back to her place or grab another drink or be nap buddies. When this happens go with the flow, don’t over think how you can make yourself “more attractive” or tease or neg. All you’ll be doing is making an easy situation more complicated.

Lovely Girls

I should’ve read this at lunch. I literally just did this and sent out a knee jerk response. Waiting to see what damage I did. “Think of it more of a weapon that’s readily available. Just because you’ve got it doesn’t mean you have to even use it.” For years, I have been bracing myself before every conversation with a woman, and then asking myself what did I do wrong. Your last paragraph has rendered me speechless. Back to the drawing board. Coochaholik on September 21, 2011 3:48 pm great post, it’s one of those balances that comes with time. Lost on September 21, 2011 5:20 pm Amen to your PS…. i miss college….. kiko on December 2, 2011 1:50 pm I’ve been reading this blog for a year and this article epitomized exactly what I’m going through now. You gotta be vulnerable and let yourself be gamed by her sometimes..

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